Last entry for now

Hey all. Well it seems like my blog starting to get meaningless to me. Too much of complaining and whining. So just want to let all of you who cares to read that this will be my last post for now til I find a more meaningful way to present my blog and I will be back when I find a more interesting way to write my blog and when I find a true purpose of blogging instead of wasting ppl's time by posting my nonsense.

I'm trying to find a better direction for my life now and I do hope I get to find one. Life's too short to keep complaining and whining, there's so much more that I can do than complaining and whining. Til I find my way, I hope everyone else does too. Take care y'all. If you want to know about my whereabouts and my news, one SMS or a call is just a button away on your phone *wink* Drinks or makan will be great, take care =)

ABC...XYZ

Well... it's Monday again. Boo... I hated Monday as much as I hated to eat celery. But the only difference is that I can choose not to eat celery but I can't choose for Monday not to come. *sigh* Another day filled with work. Seriously it feels like I've been working really long. And as after I counted the days I've been working, it's only 96 days. Damn. Actual working days. And it feels like I've been working forever. And yep, I seriously am starting to get bored with my work. Not like I don't appreciate where I am now. It's a blessing to be able to work in HP as my first real job and as I've mentioned in my previous entry, I know how important my post is. The sales people get compensated correctly part of it is because of me linking the right account under their names. *sigh* This is definitely not what I want. Not the kind of life I imagine. But I can't complain much. I'm not like working under super stress and my working hours are ok. 8.30-5.30. What else am I asking for? I want to learn something new...................

Bottomline is... PMS is here and I'm sick of myself being so damn pathetic and gosh just please stop repeating yourself = = I'm just L-A-M-E -> work stress, for real.

Recent "how"abouts...

Well it's been a while since my last update. It's already September and it feels like i've been working for a long long time while the truth is it's only my forth month. These few weeks were occupied with stuff to do. Used to all the tasks that I'm suppose to do and foresee more tasks coming. Well some might think it's just data. Well it is just data but data that gives the company money. And to certain extend one damn record can cost nearly 70 mil. 70 million. Not even sure if I can earn half a mil for my entire life. And I seriously know how important my team is to maintain the structure of the customers in my company.

Enough about work, let's talk about life.

Life... is boring. I just can't find myself enjoying life nowadays. So I'm gonna get a PSP to satisfy myself. I've always wanted a game console but I've got none for all my life. So I decided to treat myself better. I mean why not? Every weekday I've been sitting in office staring at my laptop screen, doing work non stop most of the time (except now, a bit free) and one of the reason is to see money in my bank account. And what do I do with the money? Of course not just paying bills and all. Gadgets. Ever since I started working, I understand money don't come easily but I know the stuff that I bought with them are really worthy. Well I maybe spending all my salary for these few months but I've got no regret over it. Saving is needed but I will do it slowly. For now who knows what may happen tomorrow? Although the scientist assured that the LHC(Large Hadron Collider) is safe but who can guarantee nothing will go wrong? All life could end if the experiment ever fail. So appreciate all the time we have and do things that we want to do while we can. Even if it doesn't fail, at least we know we appreciate every second that we breathe.

Right now I'm just very excited to get my PSP (yeah i know i'm slow, PSP have been around for 5 years and I'm only getting it now). Can't wait for tomorrow to come. One for being Friday and the other for me getting my brand new toy :D and lastly one last meeting with Cheng Yee before she's leaving to pursue her studies in Aberdeen. Gonna miss you heaps sister!

Oh ya. one more thing. Lee Hom. This song is making me = =||| Oh well.. something different.Doesn't sound like Lee Hom at all. The lyrics is weird but delivers what the song is about.



Anyway, back to work. That's all from me now. Adios Amigos!

Monday again...

Quite disappointed with Lee Chong Wei for losing the match. Oh well, at least he won the silver medal for Malaysia better than Malaysia having nothing at all. Lin Dan played well and Chong Wei's having bad luck and not very good judgment during the game. Pity the guy. The cheers of the China fans were enough to kill. He tried his best, he came this far and he deserved a clap for trying hard.

Man, I really hate Monday. Monday is always the slowest day of the whole week =.= and I think I'm quite used to working from home since I've been working from home this whole week.

Recently I just feel like I lost my words. I can't describe a thing/event/person properly anymore. I just can't seem to find the right words and I just feel suck up. I need to read. I've not been reading for ages. Bought two books today, one is Sophie Kinsella's The Undomestic Goddess and Cecelia Ahern's Where Rainbows End. I want to feel confident again while blogging, writing and talking.

I guess my job kind of make me lose my touch with words. The routine is starting to get boring and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere, not learning much. *sigh* I need to pick up on my english again. Not only English, there are so much more that I can learn. I like to sing, but I know I don't have a special vocal so can't go anywhere with that. I like to draw but I just can't seem to draw out what I imagine other than being a copycat. I like to shoot photo but I just can't seem to get the right moment or right angle to shoot. I just don't know why I'm beginning to feel very depress towards myself. It seems like I couldn't make things right. I don't know where to go and what to do next to "enhance" my life. Post Menstrual Syndrome or Pre Monday Syndrome? I'll find out soon.

Goodnight and have a great week ahead y'all :)

Pucca <3

Hehe, never thought I'll like Pucca. After watching the cartoon I started to become really addicted to Pucca. Pucca rocks :D

Happy Birthday to Me

First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone who came for the party. Special thanks to the brother aka Kevin Tan for planning, organizing, executing this wonderful BBQ birthday party/A-levels mini union party. Another person I would like to thank is the "little" brother, Mr. Andy Chang for all the game planning *oh god duck nest* and running around to make sure everything's alright and also helping out to move things around. (and you did quite well this time so don't ever say that you're failure in planning again) And I really have to apologize again for my clumsiness and ruining the party. *sob* Anyway, I'm really happy to see everyone again and I never thought that there will be a chance of having a BBQ party again .

For the first time in my life, I felt that home is so damn far away and it's a long long way home. It took me more than 10 minutes to reach home from the poolside =.= and I felt terrible for making both Enn Yong and Jiin to carry me back to my home *knowing that I'm so bloody heavy* Pai sheh leh. I feel extremely bad for making you guys panted and who knows maybe your muscles are aching now because of me T_T I'm sure they will never ever forget about this moment of needing to carry a giant back home T_T Gosh I feel so damn guilty.

I guess it's a wrong choice to jump while wearing slippers, especially bloody heavy slippers. I think I got my mum really scared that she kept nagging me after all my friends left. Well yeah, my bad. Sorry mum. And what a price to pay for wanting to get a good jump shot. *sigh*

Anyway, I had a wonderful day yesterday. From the karaoke session in the morning til the BBQ party, the company, the food, the surprises, the game, the present, the cake and everything else were superb. I really appreciate reunion like that. It's quite a waste that some friends couldn't make it but the party and everything was really amazing. *bow to all* Thank you guys. I'm so glad to have all you amazing people in my life. *group hugs* I know some of you are leaving for UK soon, we definitely should meet up again before you guys leave.

One of the greatest surprise that I got was Mia's appearance. I can't believe she appears. I was suspecting that she's the special guest but thanks to dear sister Cheng Yee with your excellent skill in covering up that "secret" but yeah, having my closest friends back is one of the wonderful thing to have. There's so much to say and we can't finish it on one day itself. Lol. I wish i have pictures to show but unfortunately i didn't bring my camera up so people, please give me the pics soon :D

Anyway, for one more time, I would like to show my appreciation with Mariah's song "Thank God I found you" to each and everyone of you who had shared the happy moments, gone through hell with me. Sorry if I ever said anything that upset you or make you feel uneasy, I seriously don't mean it and thank you for always being there for me.



(Mariah)
I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I've finally found unvarnished truth
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heart it would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life

(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you
I was lost lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful i found you.


(98 Degrees)
I would give you everything
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do
To ensure your happiness
I'll cherish every part of you
Because without you beside me I can't survive
Don't wanna try
If you're keeping me warm each and every night
I'll be all right
Cause I need you in my life

(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you (I'm thanking you)
I was lost lost without you (so lost without you)
My every wish and every dream (every dream, every dream)
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight (brought the sunlight)
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you.

-Bridge- (Mariah & 98 Degrees)
See I was so desolate
Before you came to me
Looking back I guess it shows
That we were destined to shine
After the rain to appreciate
The gift of what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel this way

(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you
I was lost lost without you (lost without you baby)
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life (whole life)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Sweet baby I'm so thankful
I found you


(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you
I'm lost lost without you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful
I found you

(Mariah)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful I found you

The myth of another world.

When people asked me about my religion, I tend to tell them I'm free thinker. Basically this is because I believe things that are logical and acceptable. As much as I hate waiting for works to come, I might as well spend time surfing around for something interesting. I think none of us didn't wonder about what happened to dead people. Do they go to another world? Can they really see us? Oh well, read this article about this author named Concetta Bertoldi who claimed to be a "medium" who can communicates with the dead answering the FAQ by others about dead.

What is the difference between a medium and a psychic?
A medium is a psychic, but a psychic is not necessarily a medium. Someone who is just psychic can give you a prediction, but they can’t tell you where or who they got it from. I (and other true mediums) not only can tell you what is going on and what will happen, but we can tell you who on the Other Side is bringing the message. I’m the whole package, baby!

When did you first start talking with dead people?
I couldn’t say exactly, but certainly from the time I was a small girl. It wasn’t really having a conversation, I just knew something. I understood so little at that time, I had no one to explain to me what this ‘knowing’ was. One of my very earliest memories of this was walking home one day when I was about nine years old (this wasn’t the first, but one that I strongly recall) and ‘realizing’ that my older brother was going to be taken from us at an early age. As I was walking into my backyard, I ‘heard’ the Other Side (I didn’t know at the time that’s who was communicating with me) tell me this. I can’t recall the exact words I heard. I’m not even sure it was a full sentence. Nevertheless, I knew what they meant, and I remember it like it was yesterday.

Other messages like this one came to me at other times. I was told, for example, that I would never in this lifetime have children of my own. I was also told that in a past lifetime my soul had been married to my father’s soul — one of the reasons, I’m sure, why I completely adored my father in this lifetime. The effect of these messages, for me, was one of grounding me. Even if I didn’t like what I’d been told, even if, like anyone would, I fought against losing my brother and against whatever it was that decided I would not have children, the fact that I’d been told these things in advance eventually helped me gain perspective.

What happens to us when we die?
People have fears. They’ve heard about going into the Light and want to know, does it hurt walking into the Light? Do we lose our memories? Is everything there that we had before?

What I’ve heard from the souls on the Other Side is that when we die we leave either through our feet or the top of the head. On this side I’ve heard of the “silver cord” that supposedly attaches us to life here, but no one from over there has ever mentioned this to me. It’s hard to describe exactly how we are moving — it’s a bit like floating, a bit like walking, a bit like flying, it’s a ‘gravitating’ toward the Light. There’s a feeling of anticipation — maybe a little fear, but more anticipation.

Nothing at all is forgotten. In fact, whereas now we can only remember some highlights of our past, over there we remember every single moment and detail. Everything we knew, loved, or experienced.

When we die, within seconds of entering the Light we experience a knowing. We get a fast-forward review of our lives and see the whole domino effect of all of our actions. We feel everything we made someone else feel — the joy, the hurt. We see and understand the whole domino effect of all our actions and of every interaction we had with anyone. And we know and understand what our purpose was in this lifetime.

There’s a period of transition, a time we get to reflect on our life — I don’t feel that this is standardized in any way; it’s different from individual to individual. For many there may be a necessary period of healing any physical or emotional issues, especially forgiving ourselves for anything we did while living that we don’t feel proud of, that may have hurt someone, before we are able to interact with this side, the living, again. At all times we are given help in healing what we “shoulda woulda coulda” done in our lives here.” Sometimes there is sadness at what we wish we could have done differently. We’re encouraged to heal any anger or guilt. But there is also what we would think of as physical healing — even though it’s not really physical, it’s spiritual. I can’t tell you how often someone who has been sick when they died, maybe even have been missing parts of their body, have told me in spirit that they are completely healed and healthy, and completely whole. Someone who may have had great difficulty walking or even standing on this side at the end of their life will tell me that over there they are dancing.

The true beauty of the Light is that it is total harmony. Here, we can spend a lifetime in the dark. We don’t know what we are doing or the effect we are having. But when we get over there, we get a clear view of what this side is all about.

To read the complete article, feel free to click HERE

"I'm nobody, Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect"

Seriously, I just don't like this feeling. The feeling of being bored and can't really do the things that I wanted to do e.g. Watch series. I'm in office alright but yesterday and today seems to be a little "free". I'm waiting for files to come, request to come. And as always, they'll only come around about 4-5pm when it's almost time to go HOME. Well I'm not complaining. I just wish to have balance in work. It's kind of scary when you know a tidal wave is coming but you can't do anything about it but to WAIT.

Like last week, out of sudden I need to look at 50000 records within 2 days and sort them out plus 2 files with around 7000+ records each within 2-3 days. And I was pretty glad that I was able to do it. Although sorting sounds easy, the hardest part is the checking. I enjoy my work but I started to want something more. Something more than what I'm doing. I'm not asking for more workload but I want to do different things. When I said I'm not complaining here, I think in most way I'm sort of complaining :P

This morning when I was talking to the Data Marshall in NZ, I feel like I need to overcome the nervousness and have a little more faith in myself. One of my shortcomings is that I always doubt my competence. There's always the case where I know I'm right but I just don't dare to be so damn sure that I'm right. Mostly happens during work and studies. It's not like I'm worried that I'll be blamed for being wrong, the part that concerned me the most is the part where I get people in trouble for my own silly mistakes. There are a lot more for me to learn before I find myself talking real well. Really have to pick up my vocab cuz I find my "dictionary" having very limited vocabularies.

Anyway, recently I'm kind of addicted to watching back the old series that I used to watch last time. I'm really glad that I was able to buy the series Invisible Man. Although this series is not as famous as Grey's Anatomy, FRIENDS, and all, I kind of love it. First saw it on TV3 a few years back then. As compared to the movie version, Hollow Man by Kevin Bacon, this is so much better. Kevin Bacon's version is kind of creepy plus Kevin Bacon is NOT HOT. Well some people will find my taste in HOT guys are pretty weird. I agreed with most that Brad Pitt is hot but somehow I'm not really into him. I liked David Boreanaz (Angel, Bones) back then which I still do. People were crazy about Nick Carter but I don't, I liked Brian Littrell. People fancy Chester Bennington more but I like Mike Shinoda more than any of the band members. And yes, I like this Invisible Man, Vincent Ventresca. He's not like super hot but he's alright. *drool* And then I like Lee Hom. Well Lee Hom are loveable, I mean how can people don't adore his charm and also talent?

Putting the inner part aside, other than the good looking ,nice eyes ,great smile, I guess another thing that can certainly melt me down is the voice. A guy with a pleasant voice will always get additional mark from me. Like David Beckham, although he is good looking (well, I think Owen is better), during the first time I heard him speaking, I was totally stunned. His voice and his look doesn't match at all. *sorry Beckham fans* I like guys with sexy voice >.<

Alright, the more I type the more I don't know where and when I'm gonna end. That's why I'm not a good author, I can't put things in paragraph nicely. I always talk about this and suddenly talk about that. So I guess I'll just put a full stop here for now. *still waiting for files to come in*

Sometimes it's not true when they always say that "Good things come to those who wait". In my work, no. Waiting is absolutely bad. Cheers.

张惠妹 - 如果你也听说

作曲:周杰伦填词:李焯雄

突然发现站了好久
不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我
再多人陪只会更寂寞

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可
委屈却没有人诉说

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

张惠妹-如果你也听说

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我想我宁可都沉默
其实反而显得做作

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

如果你想起我
你会想到什么

Where? What? Why? How? No Who.

I realized that I just don't have the mood to write a complete blog recently. Every time when I wanted to write something, I ended up writing them halfway and eventually, I deleted every words that I've written. I just feel funny recently and I don't know what I want. PMS? Maybe. But that can't be the reason always. I just don't know what. I guess most probably is PMS.

I'm perfectly happy with my working life and everything that God have been giving to me up til now but why do I still feel like something is missing? It just feels like I'm standing between the edge of heaven and earth and it's obvious that I would choose heaven but I just couldn't move. Something is holding me back. But what?

Don't worry, this is just like a temporary feeling. It's definitely PMS. That's why I'm typing it out to relieve the shits within me. When I'm done with this entry, everything will be back to normal.

And lastly, i'm off to bed, Good Night.

So what's next?

Nope. Not getting an iPhone. That's not the next thing that I'm going to do. In fact that might be the last thing that I would want to do. Before this I was making a fuss about the iPhone and desperately wanted to get it. I guess after thinking through so much, the money that I want to save up for iPhone can use for something else better. One for being that I already have an iPod Touch the other is many people tell me that iPhone is not worth it. But I guess it's the first one that makes me really change my mind. What for having another iPod Touch+Phone?

Anyway, I actually feel great about my job is just that I hope I'm getting somewhere. It's not like I'm very ambitious (although I do hope one day I could be like my managers, and that will have to work much more harder). All I really want myself to do in the future is to open a bakery/cafe like Starbucks/ Secret Recipe and most importantly my shop must have one thing can make everyone think about my shop whenever the name of the thing is mentioned like coffee=starbucks, famous cakes=secret recipe. Just have to work hard and have proper planning. Hehe.

Besides work & dreams that I have, what else do I want? I always said that come what may, well I do hope I have love to complete the puzzle of my life. I have family love, friends love, colleagues love, I just don't have bf-gf love. Maybe I wouldn't even have anyway. Argh. I really hate it when my mind come across to this topic. Love. Where is it? Coming or not? *sigh*

Goodnight.

What is that feeling...

Is not like I have something to be upset about. But why do I feel so heartache when I listened to those sorrowful songs T_T I guess most probably is the PMS *I hope*

Damn, it's gonna be another week of work. Really need to figure out to complete the task my senior asked me to. I want to contribute and be useful to the team. *gambateh*

I just don't know what to say. Really. Just feeling sad for no reason. <- I am such a sad person. *sob*

Goodnight all and have a great week ahead!

What happened to Steve?

Omg. He looked so skinny. What happened? Anyway the 3G iPhone is coming in July. Hopefully it will be available in Malaysia. *finger crossed* soooo getting the 16Gb one. I've been wanting iPhone for so so long. So now I'll delay my upgrading HDD plan and stick to save-money-to-buy-iPhone-plan. Hehe.

Anyway, had a great workshop trip with colleagues and managers over the weekend. Although I don't know them long enough, they are just really nice. At least they won't despise fresh grads but to provide every possible help to me. Thanks people! So lucky to be able to work with y'all :)

So much to share but then my eyes are about to close. There's a meeting at 8.30 am tomorrow morning so I shall go off to bed now. I'll share more this coming weekend. Ciaoz.

They've never fail to make my day better :)

That's why I still love them after so long. Mike especially... lucky Anna. Anyway, "Leave Out All The Rest" is one of my fave from Minutes to Midnight and I'm glad they made a video for it. Wanted to paste the video link but unfortunately Warner Music removed it due to copyright claims = =

This really reminds me of those bloopers in Frat Party. Especially the one that Hahn and Mike did on the wet toiletpaper >.<

I miss schooling...

I really do. Working is not easy especially when u have to stare at the laptop about 9 hours per day. Can't say my work is stress yet cuz it's more of like doing a lot of manual stuff and checking. But seriously thinking back on those days in school, college, those days were heaven actually. Of course there were stress for assignments and exams but the stress of work cannot be compared to that. Education is about absorbing and understanding knowledges while working is about producing result that related to money for the company.

I always said that work takes almost most of our life after schooling is finished. It is true wert. Monday to Friday, working like 8+ hours daily, 40 hours per week. Don't count weekends, the working hours are like 1/3 of my weekdays. 8 hours of sleep per day, another 1/3 gone. Wow. Where's the life? Normally weekends are my "turning-off-laptop" days. Might on for a few hours but then really get bored of staring at machines most of the times. *sigh*

I hope I can get into a better state on my job soon then I can start reforming my life. I want a healthy and happy life. Healthy can start by shaping up and eating well and balanced. I want to look better in a year or two time. So we'll see what's going on. I don't want to say only but start doing already. Same goes to everyone. I hope all of you are living healthy and happy everyday, every minute, every second. Life is too short to be sad and unhealthy ;)

9.48 p.m.

It's gonna be 10 pm soon. And it means I have to go to bed soon and ready for a new week. It's gonna be the forth week for me in HP. Well this week I learned quite a lot about my team, my job. So I just hope I could be really familiar with my job and be useful for the team and able to perform well when my colleague is gone for army next week. I have to understand how the whole thing works.

Actually after 3 weeks of being in HP I can say I really am a lucky person to be where I am. Even if I can put back the clock and choose again, I will rather be nowhere than where I am now. I thank God again for that. Thank God for the blessings I get every minute, every second and I hope God will do the same to everyone I know.

Whee.. Next week is pay-day week. Can't wait to check out the bank account and I really have to save up for many many stuffs. Gadgets that I want, preparing for bill payment, joining gym, saving up for future vacation with mum... so many things.

Anyway, that's about it for now. Really excited about next week's Langkawi workshop trip. Going to stay in Sheraton Hotel, and I bet it's gonna be fun. I just hope I can get to know all my colleagues more and of course my boss. Haha. Nite everyone :)

Unpredictable

The world is unpredictable. What is going to happen on the next second? No one will ever know til it happens. *pray for those victims in China and Myanmar* All these natural disasters shown that the earth is really sick. Polar bears is going to extinct, ice land in Antarctica and Antarctic are melting away. So what's next? Last night there was a slight tremble in my area. It lasted less than 10 seconds and it was pretty scary actually = = Thank goodness it's nothing serious.

Well it's already the 3rd week for me at work. Actually right now my brain is pretty messed up. So blur with so many things and in a way I feel like I'm giving too much pressure to myself til I feel like I don't know what I'm doing in a way. Oh no. Chill Vic. It's just working.

Anyway, will be going to Langkawi next month starting 5th of June and will be back on 7 June. So many things are changing and I'm experiencing so many first time in my life so I do hope the brain could stop messing up and be prepared for tmr's training. Goodnight everyone.

Life is all about waiting...

Yep indeed...We waited ever since the moment our parents "made" us. Waited for 9 months or so to be born into this world. When we were a baby, our parents waited for us to grow to crawl, walk, calling "papa" and "mama" while everyday we were waiting for time to pass by and to be fed when we were hungry. We waited for our favorite cartoons, commercial break on tv. Then we waited to go to school to get to know new friends, to be educated. When we were in school, we waited to finish our studies, and waited to work.

After we graduated, we waited for the right job to catch our eyes, then we apply for it. After we applied for it, we waited for the company to call up for an interview. Right after we attended the interview, we waited for "good news" from the company. If the company called to notify you the good news, you waited to start work. When you start work during the first week, you waited for your task. Then when you got your task, you'll be waiting for holidays to come. Then every end of the month, you will be waiting for the amount in your bank account to increase.

After that you will be waiting for your work to be appreciated, best, get promoted, salary increase. After your job got pretty steady and you got everything under control, you'll be waiting for love to come. If love comes, you will need to wait for the day when you and your other half's relationship comes to a point where the both of you can get married. Then after get married, waiting for a child to come into the family. Then wait for the child to grow up and earn money for you to use, to help you out and you retire then you wait for the day you die.

Wait wait wait. Life is all about waiting isn't it? Just like now, I'm waiting for my eyes to get sleepy and go to bed. So... goodnight :D

The beginning of another miserable week...

Not like I don't want to enjoy my work but after "working" for like 7 days, I just feel like a total idiot. Only yesterday my colleagues passed me some excel table to work on do some "simple calculation" well it would be nice if they ask me to write SQL queries cuz when it comes to formula, Excel's formula can be bloody complicated. Or maybe I'm stupid?!o.O

These few days what I did was mostly MSN, surf net, pretend to be busy like everybody else. *sigh* Not like I'm complaining about my job. I guess maybe I hope that I could learn up things soon then I can be more relax. Well relax in the sense that I know my stuff don't have to be miserable. And after that I can start planning the money to save each month and plan for vacation with mum. I promised her to bring her on cruise so I do hope I'll be able to do that end of this year or maybe next year after I finish my contract with HP? I don't know man. Probably I won't be able to do my job well even before the contract ends and they wanted to kick me out? Who knows? I know I'll try my very best :)

Seriously working takes all the time. Here's like what I do every weekday and goodness, my life is boring.

• 6/6.15am- Wake up, shower, breakfast
• 8am- Leave home, go to work
• 8.05 am- Reach my company, the day starts
• 12pm- Lunch time
  
• 12.40-12.50pm- Back to "work"
• 5.32-5.35pm- Go Home
• 6pm- TV+dinner
• 8pm- Shower+ Use my mac for a while
• 9.30pm- TV
• 10.30/11pm- Sleep

*sigh* Boring boring. But I guess working life is like that? Maybe when I have stuff to do I'll complain about having so many stuff to do. You'll see :D

Happy Mother's Day!

Well this year is one of the year that I didn't really do anything for mum. I used to draw cards, buy present.. But today just really nothing. First thing b/c of wallet empty, secondly even mum is lazy to celebrate and some more tmr will be Mum's birthday. Darn. I feel so damn guilty. The only thing I did was wished her happy Mother's day and saying I love you throughout the whole day. And this very random photoshop pic. Goodness I just don' t really put a lot of time on it. Sorry mum. I promise next year you'll have one unforgettable one. So for now... It's just gonna be this. Happy Birthday mum and I love you :)

Blogging @ work

Haha since I've really got nothing to do, I might as well just drop a few lines. Well this whole week is like nothing much but reading reading reading.Totally blur out on the slides.So many unknown terms @.@ I do hope I can really do my job well on the upcoming days. Many people told me don't be worry and everything will be fine. Well today felt much more better than the past few days. Still feel uneasy as everybody is busy accept me. Lol.

Come to think about it actually one week can pass by quite fast. Today it's already Thursday and tmr is Casual day and weekends coming to visit soon. Yay!

This few days really blanko and *cough*bored. Humans are very hard to please. I happen to be one.Right now when I can't do anything, I feel like wanting to get into my job soon. I think if the work load is a lot I'll complain for having so much stuff to do. Yada Yada. Can't help it wert right? Hehe. But I hope I can be as good as my other teammates. They really contributed to the team and saved up a lot of times for some tasks. I will try my very best to learn whatever I should and be able to contribute as much as I can.

Anyway, I guess that's about it for today.Better get back to re-read the slides again as my colleague on SG will give me some briefing about my NCRF team later. Take care all.

First day at work...

I couldn't sleep last night and I got up early this morning. I got up around 6 automatically before the alarm clock calls me. Maybe I'm excited? I'm not sure. I guess more of like scared. Haha.

Well throughout the whole day in office I feel lost actually. Too many faces need to remember, even the office itself also blur me out. Nothing much to do today just that my senior asked another colleague to give me this big file containing some notes for me to "read". Honestly, I've flipped the file like countless time til I'm extremely bored as I don't have my laptop yet. No work, no surfing, no msn (haha somehow all my colleagues communicate through MSN most of the time). I kept looking at the clock today hoping that 5.30 comes soon. Not like I don't like my job. Is just that today I don't have anything to do or anything to make me pretty I'm busy at all. I guess this is like the life in office huh? I think I need some time to get used to it. Then later after lunch, my senior told me what he does and all. I understand is SQL queries and all but honestly it's so bloody complicated. I hope I can understand it as time goes by. I guess being a freshie got me pretty scared that I won't be able to perform my job well and eventually got fired. I know I know.. slap me. It's only the first day I already start feeling this way.

Honestly I can say even if I can do my job properly in the upcoming days, I'm not sure if I want to stay for many years. This is like a real office job. People don't really talk other than doing their job. Maybe it's just like a temporary feeling. I do hope things are not like what I thought in the upcoming days. Anyway, that's about it for today. My colleagues said that I'll have tons of work to do. I guess is a good thing right? Better than nothing to do and waiting for time to pass by. That's all for today. Goodnight everybody.

The last day before the working life starts...

Well it's finally Sunday and I'm gonna start working tomorrow, I'm looking forward to it and yet I'm feeling a little scared? It's gonna be a whole new beginning, I don't know what's coming my way but I'm absolutely ready to welcome what's coming my way.

Actually I've got nothing much to be worried about since my company is so close to home. I just hope that when I start working those laziness that I had for the past few months can fade away soon. Data Analyst might not sound interesting and all, but I'm glad to be given an opportunity to try it out. Don't think I'll be able to blog as much as I used to from now onwards. Not like people really read anyway.

Well I always make mistake, I don't have great personality too. I pissed off easily. I respect everyone I've met as how they respect themselves. But there are also people who made me total lost my respect to them when I realised that they themselves don't even respect their own mind, body and soul especially when they are like giving all sorts of excuses and keep lying to themselves. Since they themselves don't give a damn about it, so why should I give a damn?So eventually "I find bliss in ignorance". The only thing I could do is to keep quiet and move on with my own life. Want to gain my respect again? Learn to respect yourself first.

I really appreciate every single friendship that I've made since the first day I started to make friends with others. When I became friends with others, I tend to give my whole heart out. But somehow not like everyone appreciate that. Some people think that friends are meant to take advantages of each other. No. That's not right at all. But somehow just face it, in this world today, majority of people are self-centered, taking other's advantage. *sigh* So I shall not say anything anymore. Keeping quiet and live my own life is the best option to do.

Anyway, that's about it for now. I wish everyone well on their upcoming days, till then take care. Ciaoz.

What hurts the most? Love i think...

Well I don't know. I don't consider myself really being loved before cuz during my younger days I guess that was just not you call true love. I don't even know what love means between a couple cuz I have not really tried it. Maybe there are someone waiting for me, but what if there's no one waiting at all? Isn't that sad? Snap back to reality, these kind of stuff are meant to be. Who doesn't want to be loved? But when there's no one for you, what can you do?

Haha. I sounded a little desperate huh? Well not like everyone can understand me anyway. I'm strong? Partially. Maybe. Maybe not. God has always been fair, He won't be giving everything to a person. When you have something, there must be something that someone else have and you don't. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about my life. God has been really good to me to give me everything I own up 'till today and I'm absolutely thankful for that. But somehow nothing could really sate humans greed and always caught themselves in a self-contradicting situation. *sigh* *pointing at myself* But anyway, I'm always happy for those who found their true love and living happily ever after. So I do hope I can find my "he" one day. But for now, this song is making me sad and yet I love it so much. Although I've not been a fan of country songs, this song make it to my list of favorite songs somehow. Here it is, "What hurts the most" by Rascal Flatts (a 2005 song Haha.)



Lyrics:

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

Forever and always... Mike Shinoda

*Don't have to read my utter nonsense if you don't feel like it*

It's been a while since the last time I wrote anything about Mike Shinoda or Lee Hom. Lee Hom is hot but... no.. He just don't manage to stay in my heart for long. He comes and He goes. Mike Shinoda has always been here in my heart since day 1. Yes. I know he's married. So what? Some people are still crazy about Angelina Jolie even she got hitched with Mr. Pitt.



Anyway, it's been 5 years since I fall for some-dude-from Linkin Park aka Mike Shinoda (rapper of the group +guitarist+keyboard player of the band). The devotion that Mike has towards music earn my biggest respect and also make me feel ashamed of myself sometimes. Mainly because I don't see myself really dedicated to my study before this. I know I could have done better but of course I did try my very best to achieve what I've got so far. I just wish to find out what I'm really good at and work very hard to reach the greatest achievement of my interest and talent. *sigh* I remembered last time during my A-levels period, I was very much addicted to Linkin Park as well as Mike 'til there was once I was so down that I can only hear Mike's voice in my head rapping out the words that I used to hear "unplugged". And his buffoonery always made my day last time.



I have to admit for the past few months I've change my way of admiring my idols. Not like last time crazy over getting their pictures from magazines, buying merchandise. No. Those stuff are just wasting time and money. The way to support is from the bottom of the heart and buying original CDs, going for concert only. Well one of my dream is to see LP in US cuz the show in Malaysia will never be as good as somewhere outside Asia.





So this might just sound weird, but I do want to thank Linkin Park for being who they are for making music that makes me hated them from the beginning til loving them so much right now. Everytime whenever I feel like shutting myself in my own world, their music has always been a great "cure" for me to walk out of depression. Thanks guys. This is why I always be proud to call myself a Linkin Park fan even if in the future if they are forgotten, their name will always stay in my heart as long as I live.This entry is dedicated to you guys, the kids out there and to wherever music lives. I love Mike Shinoda and I love Linkin Park forever and always. (Come to Malaysia soon folks!)

PMS? or maybe I've started to change?

[This photo brought back all the memories that I used to have in A-levels,really miss those days]
I realized that I've been acting very straightforward lately. Sometimes I even think I speak without using my brain as well. *sigh* Anyway, I guess life will not be the same soon. At least I know some friends around me are not like how they used to be. All I can do is to hope that their changes are for the better.

I guess it's either the PMS or maybe I'm starting to change recently and part of it I don't think it's good especially when I'm becoming more and more impatient. Some people might call my way of thinking is just within a box. But to me there are always some principles that I tend to keep and follow. Well maybe is really because of the way my parents taught me ever since I was a kid or maybe just like what Win said- the difference between left-handed and right handed. Hmm.. who knows? I've become more and more straightforward, when I don't like certain things and dislike anyone's behavior I tend to spill it out right on that person's face. I guess that's not really good huh. Sounded like I'm so bossy.

Anyway, I do feel that the upcoming days are not going to be easy. I do hope I can cope with the pressure that I'm about to feel. So til then I hope everyone who read this, take good care of yourself and do keep in touch. Dropping a word or two on my "chatterbox" would be nice so at least I know that somebody cares :D Alright people. Take Care.

Life of a job hunter...

Basically, I went for interview for another job- Data Analyst/ Business Analyst. Need to know Excel Macros and SQL, dealing with data most of the times. Going for the final round of interview(i hope) on Monday to meet the hosting manager and this time, I'll be given some scenarios and see how I can solve it. *sigh* I'm keeping my finger crossed that I don't screw it.

The other job that I mentioned on my last entry as "Management Trainee", I got a call from them today asking me when can I start working. So since I'm attending this interview on Monday, I told them I'll give them a reply on Tuesday.

Honestly I do want this Business Analyst job. The other job is b/c the location is a bit far and the working hour is like from 10am-8pm which I don't really like at all. And the benefit for Data Analyst is so much more better BUT it's a yearly contract job. So if I am lucky to be hired I need to work at least for a year. Of course I don't mind that. This company will be a challenge for me as it is a multinational company and this company has been around for more than 5 decades so yeah.. I guess everything is pretty organised and if I really want to be exposed to more stuff I guess this position is not getting me anywhere. But then again I don't mind cuz I'm like 23 this year. If I work in this company for a year I'll be here like one year and I'll only be 24 then so nothing to loose. Basically I just want to work then only I'll be able to find out what I really want in a job.

Alright. So I guess that's the update about the life of a job hunter. I do hope to have good news on Monday, I'm feeling pretty nervous though as I have a feeling it's going to be dead tough. Wish Me luck.

Confusion... Hesitation...

Well actually went for "training" today, I just don't understand why can't they put the terms properly. It's actually a second interview. There were 3 other candidates chosen to come for this "training" as well. Basically, we were given one set of 18-pages "notes" to read. And basically, this so called "Management Trainee" post is more of like consultancy or perhaps... Sales. The main purpose is to get people to join the club and all. Well the benefit of this job is that you can earn money faster than doing a regular office work as you'll get like the basic salary per month along with the commission you'll be earning. So right now, I'm standing in between the money and the career/real work path. Should I be finding a much more proper job based on my qualification or should I just don't give a damn about my qualification and if I'm lucky to be hired by this company I'll just go and work there for a several months or maybe years? Gosh. This is so hard.

Sales/ Consultancy is not something that I always wanted to do. Right now I'm just totally lost and confused. *sigh*

Weird day but I guess it's all good...

Wow... I'm still feeling wow. I got a call like a few days ago for a management trainee job. And I was pretty confused and wondered since when I applied for a management trainee post. So I called back the company the next day and found out that my resume was given to them by Jobstreet and I was one of the shortlisted candidate. Originally the interview will be on next tuesday but it was changed to today. I wasn't really thinking of getting this job cuz firstly I didn't apply for it and this job has nothing to do with the field that I've studied. So I was thinking that since I haven't got a job and I have nothing else better to do at home, I might as well give it a shot.

So I reach the company around 1+ and the interview supposed to be at 2pm. First thing I did was filling up the employment form. Then I waited like 30 minutes along with another candidate who happened to be in the same situation as mine for the same post. And after waited for 30 minutes I went to the reception and wanted to ask what to do next and submitting the form at the same time. After submitting the form, the staff there told me that the manager is not free to interview us and we were asked to go back and wait for their call. So I left.

Min Fung called me earlier and wanted to meet up in Pavilion for a talk or something so I kind of waited for him for a while and he reached around 3.15. After that, we decided to have a drink at Gloria Jeans Coffee (and god their small size really meant small.. Haha). Anyway, we kind of like talked for less than 10 minutes then suddenly I received a call from the company again. The manager whose name is Victor, wanted me to attend the training on Monday. Then I was stunned and asked him how come and was I being hired? He was like not really cuz they wanted to see if I'm suited for the post after the 4 hours training. I then asked about what sort of job I'll be handling in this post. Then he went "Aren't you suppose to ask that during your interview session?" Then I told him that I wasn't being interviewed at all. So he wanted to meet me up for an interview again and thank goodness I was still around that area that time. After I hung up, I quickly drank up my last sip of coffee and left Min Fung there alone. (sorry dude, but thanks for coming for a drink, really appreciate that)

When I reached the company, I met up with Victor. First thing I was being told was "You should lose weight Victoria"(not like he's insulting me but the work has something related to fitness) I'm like.. yes, I do know that. Thank you very much. Then after that he talked as if I'm already being hired. I was in a really "blah" state that time cuz I couldn't be bothered with the job. And when he said "What if I'm gonna pay you 4k for the job?". Then I was totally stunned and I said "I may consider". He was like "4k you still need to consider?". Seriously at that moment I thought it was a joke and I told him is not about salary I'm concerning about but there are other factors as well. Then I went on and asked him "Are you serious?" he just went "why not?" Then I was told that 4k is when I become a real staff there after 3 months probation. So since I'm a freshie, I was being offered 2k as basic salary. I was hesitating at the moment. After thinking for a few minutes and discussed my difficulty with him about not being able to work til too late he told me the earliest he'll let me off is 8pm. Eventually, I accepted the job cuz I thought since I don't have a job right now and I really need money to survive, I might as well try out.

I do see myself facing a lot of difficulties in the upcoming days. Lots of stuff to learn since I'm a true freshie and no experience. It appears to me that this is an opportunity that came to me by fate. Probably God would like me to try something else before getting myself into boring job. I don't dare to imagine what lies ahead but all I know is that I will try to learn up stuff that suppose to be learnt and be useful and hopefully I can get to somewhere one day. Even if eventually things don't turn out the way I imagine to be I guess I'll just take it as an experience or a vital for my continued growth. I will try my very best. A big thank you for all my friends who have been there for me for advice and listening to my nonsense and complains. Thank you guys. And the two most important person I need to thank is my mum and God (regardless of religion). So we shall see what happen next then. ^_^

Sitting, Wishing, Waiting...

Sitting here wishing and waiting for a company to call me up for interviews. T_T Went for a programming aptitude test last wednesday and I would say if only i know is those questions I would be much more prepared. *Sigh* if only is not going to save me. It's my own mistake for not keeping up the practice. So I guess the chances of being selected is pretty low. Btw, is the Analyst Programmer for Manulife (previously known as John Hancock).

On friday, went to the jobstreet career fair. I know it's not like i'm gonna stand a big chance or something but just went there and have a look. Submitted a few copies of my resume. Philip Morris, Synovate, AIG, etc. I guess as time goes by my thoughts change as well. I seriously don't mind working in small company with a few people that can make me learn some stuff. Right now i'm in the near insane stage. I so so so so want a job. I guess I'm still stubborn and picky about my job. No Sales. No Marketing. Not til there's no other job available. Those field are definitely my last resort. *sigh* It's the second week of april already. Oh God, I want a job. T_T

Continue my sitting, wishing and waiting session... I'm outta here.

*sigh*

Omg.. i'm so gonna cry soon. It's gonna be the end of March edi and still no news about my applications? Did something went wrong? Or maybe those employers think that I'm not good enough to be hired? *sigh*

Nothing much happened, going to "visit" my dad this Sunday. Somehow I really miss him these few days. Especially after my mum brought back the portrait that were taken during graduation day. I wish that he was there too so we can have a complete portrait. *sigh* I miss you dad. I want to be your daughter again to make it up to the time that we've missed of knowing each other.

When I have nothing else better to do, I tend to think about nonsense like why am I unwanted. Well not that I'm desperate to have a bf or something is just that I always wonder why am I those kind of girl who is not even guy's type. *sigh* I know why. forget it. I just hate talking about lovey dovey stuff. I always welcome my friends come to me and tell me about their relationship problem and all. But sometimes it will irritate me not b/c of their problem but my own. I will think about stuff like how come nobody loves me like how my friends did to their other half. Blah.. I'm not even interested to be in love now. So... who cares?

Anyway, I guess I'll have to print more and more resume and mail directly to those companies. That's all for now. I do hope the next entry I can talk about my new job. *finger crossed* Take care y'all..

Now this color is interesting...

Not a fan of gold color, found someone posted these pics of Mac Book Pro in gold. Haha. Gold MBP. I guess i still like the original color of it :D and I bet this will be much more heavier if it's really made out of gold. lol.

Certain regrets can't be unravelled...

*sigh* I should have known this would happen. I shouldn't be bother about any nagging and went to the Backstreet Boys' concert the other day. Darn. God knows when will they be coming to Malaysia again. Argh. I hate myself right at this moment. From this moment on I shall not make decision that will make me regret. For goodness sake I'm a grown up. Not like I will disrespect my mum or something but sometimes she can be a little overprotecting. Serves me right. I shouldn't be a good girl sometime.

Right now I even think of flying over to Korea or any other country to watch them. Damn. I hate that feeling. I may not be the biggest fan of them now but I was once a huge fan of theirs and last time they canceled the concert due to the 9-11 incident and after that they came once for the Forces of Nature concert which I didn't make it and this time, the reason is nothing. I should have acted like how I did for LP's concert. I was complaining to my mum til she gave up. *sigh* I sound so mean.

Anyway, this kind of regret cannot be undone so I just have to accept it. I guess it takes time to get over this regret. And tmr, I'll be going to the KLCC convention centre for the Career Fair and honestly speaking I'm not very well prepared. I thought I'll have extra time but there were too many things to be done today so I do hope I can get something out of that fair tmr and get a freaking job. Nite.

Yesterday...

I used to enjoy blogging so much but nowadays I'm just too lazy to update as there's nothing much to talk about my recent life. *sigh* I'm in the very lost state at the moment, trying to search for the right direction for my life ahead.

Anyway I guess I'll be blogging once in a blue moon from now onwards. I do hope life will be busy on the upcoming days. At least busy with work will be a good thing rather than rotting at home.I will try my very best to search for the right direction and I do hope my friends will find what they want in their life either in education or work or maybe love. So good luck to everybody, let's work hard together to live our life to the fullest :) Anything just contact me through msn or SMS. A SMS once in a while would be nice :D Take care y'all.

Happy Chinese New Year

Lol. this place is like those abandoned city of the old times.. Who cares right? Anyway... tomorrow is CNY eve. So before anything else, wanna wish everyone who bothers to read a very Happy Chinese New Year and hopefully everyone will have a great year ahead filled with wealth, health and happiness.

My convocation was held last Saturday at Nikko Hotel.And most pics that I've taken just blur T_T Luckily I did attend or else I'll be absolutely regret cuz I thought of not going in the beginning. Although I did not study at overseas, at least I went for a convocation :D

Anyway, gotta run now. Happy Chinese New Year to all. *hugs*

R.I.P Heath Ledger (1979-2008)

I was pretty shock when I see this news where Heath Ledger was found dead in a Manhattan apartment yesterday. I'm not his fan but just to pay my respect to him. I guess the death of Heath Ledger brought a great loss to the world of showbiz.



According to news, 28 years old Heath Ledger was found naked and face-down on the floor of his bedroom by a housekeeper about 3.30pm on Tuesday. And the news also reported that he had been ill with pneumonia. The police said that his death is accidental as well.

More information about the news of Heath's death can be found Here.

Heath Ledger acted in famous flick like Brokeback Mountain, The Patriot, A Knight's Tale and so on. He is suppose to play the role as The Joker on the sequel of Batman Begins. What a way to start off 2008. Rest In Peace, Heath Ledger.

Endless Story- Reira Starring Yuna Ito

An old song back in 2005, this song was featured in the Nana Movie where Yuna Ito acted as the lead singer of the band Trapnest. One of my recent favorite song, just beautiful ^_^



Lyrics:
If you haven’t changed your mind
Soba ni ite hoshii yo Tonight

Tsuyogaru koto ni tsukareta no
Osana sugita no Everytime I think about you baby
Ima nara ieru I miss you
It’s so hard to say I’m sorry

Tatoeba dare ka no tame ja naku anata no tame ni
Utaitai kono uta wo
Owara nai story tsuduku kono kagayaki ni
Always tsutaetai zutto eien ni

Memories of our time together
Kesa nai de kono mama don’t go away

Atatakaku toke dashite tashikameru no
Yasashisa no shizuku kono mune ni hirogatteku
Setsu nai hodo ni I’m missing you
Kasaneta te hanasa naide

Tatoeba kanau nara mou ichido anata no tame ni
Utai tai kono uta wo
Owara nai story taemanai itoshisa de
tell me why oshiete yo zutto eien ni

Tatoeba dare ka no tame ja naku anata no tame ni
Utaitai kono uta wo
Owara nai story tsuduku kono kagayaki ni
Always tsutaetai zutto eien ni

=================================

Translation:

If you haven’t changed your mind
Then I want you by my side Tonight

I’m so tired of always having to bluff
Everytime I think about you baby, I feel so young
If I could just tell you I miss you
It’s so hard to say I’m sorry

You see, I want to sing this song, not for just anyone
but just for you
An ENDLESS STORY that keeps on shining
Always, I wanna show you, forever and ever

Memories of our time together
this way, they don’t go away

Once I knew that the warmth between us had disappeared,
gentle tears started to spread over my chest
This is not where it ends, I’m missing you
please don’t let go of my hand

You see, I wish I could sing this song, just for you
just one more time
An ENDLESS STORY of undying love
tell me why, please tell me, forever and ever

You see, I want to sing this song, not for just anyone
but just for you
An ENDLESS STORY that keeps on shining
Always, I wanna show you, forever and ever

Dear Hair

I would like to tell you how sorry I am for not treating you right for the pass few years and brought you into serious damage. Luckily is not too late save you from falling off completely. Lol. I do hope you could forgive me for my mistake and from now onwards I will take extremely good care of you like I never did before. I hope you could stay with me as long as you could and you do know how much I love you right? And thank you for being alive again. Muacks.

Love,
Your Owner.

Excuses

*sigh* I just keep giving excuses to myself for not looking for a job. Yes I'm broke but that excuse didn't seem to persuade me to work. *screams* I felt completely useless now. Most will definitely think that way. To be honest I'm bored at home. Very bored in fact. I'm just scared. *sigh* I kept thinking wanting to work only. How nice if there's a job offer that doesn't require me to go for ANY interview with good pay. Right. *dream on*

Before this I was saying that I wanted to get a job after Xmas is over. Now Xmas is already over for a while, my mind just wanted to wait til CNY is over. Lol. Excuses,excuses, excuses. Can Victoria overcome her excuses period and find a job eventually? Find out next time on the words of vicdom. No specific time of airing but you'll know when the time comes. -> Insane. Enough said.

Tu-Thaozand-N-Ate

2008 that is ^_^ Had a pretty "peaceful" night last night, didn't go anywhere for party and just countdown with myself. Lol. sad huh?

It's a brand new year and I do hope this year I will have less complain and less sigh-ings. Lately I've been having this bad feeling about my upcoming days when I start thinking about w-o-r-k. Knowing myself didn't get good result for my Degree is already a bad starting point for my career. (Maybe not I hope)People have been asking me what sort of job will I be applying for and honestly, I can really say that I do not know at all b/c I haven't really got into it yet. I've been giving myself all sorts of reasons for not to work just yet.

I guess probably it's time to do something useful since one of the resolution for 2008 is to be more useful. I've been pretty useless actually. Didn't do anything that is productive and useful for my life, family and the world. Ha.

Somehow I realised I have the habit of looking/thinking back at my old stuffs. Friends, music that I used to listen to, even those stupid crush that I had on guys, etc. And when I think of the recent years, it felt like I didn't live my recent years to the fullest. I didn't social much, mostly stick to home and college for class only. It seems like I've almost become a loner. Oh No. I so don't want that to happen. I'm the kind of person who likes having friends around me, I don't like to do things alone, but ever since I got into a place called KDU, everything changed. Even my attitude. 3 years is not a very short period of time nor it's very long but I guess it's long enough to change me in terms of thoughts and attitudes.

I guess right now I'm ready to look for some new changes in me. I don't want to live like how I did for the past 3 years. It's enough. Time to walk out from that door and breathe in a new life. Job hunt starts later this afternoon right after the "spring cleaning" of my room ^_^ Alright folks, Happy New Year to all and I hope everyone will have a great year ahead fills with happiness and great stuff. Good night.