"I'm nobody, Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect"

Seriously, I just don't like this feeling. The feeling of being bored and can't really do the things that I wanted to do e.g. Watch series. I'm in office alright but yesterday and today seems to be a little "free". I'm waiting for files to come, request to come. And as always, they'll only come around about 4-5pm when it's almost time to go HOME. Well I'm not complaining. I just wish to have balance in work. It's kind of scary when you know a tidal wave is coming but you can't do anything about it but to WAIT.

Like last week, out of sudden I need to look at 50000 records within 2 days and sort them out plus 2 files with around 7000+ records each within 2-3 days. And I was pretty glad that I was able to do it. Although sorting sounds easy, the hardest part is the checking. I enjoy my work but I started to want something more. Something more than what I'm doing. I'm not asking for more workload but I want to do different things. When I said I'm not complaining here, I think in most way I'm sort of complaining :P

This morning when I was talking to the Data Marshall in NZ, I feel like I need to overcome the nervousness and have a little more faith in myself. One of my shortcomings is that I always doubt my competence. There's always the case where I know I'm right but I just don't dare to be so damn sure that I'm right. Mostly happens during work and studies. It's not like I'm worried that I'll be blamed for being wrong, the part that concerned me the most is the part where I get people in trouble for my own silly mistakes. There are a lot more for me to learn before I find myself talking real well. Really have to pick up my vocab cuz I find my "dictionary" having very limited vocabularies.

Anyway, recently I'm kind of addicted to watching back the old series that I used to watch last time. I'm really glad that I was able to buy the series Invisible Man. Although this series is not as famous as Grey's Anatomy, FRIENDS, and all, I kind of love it. First saw it on TV3 a few years back then. As compared to the movie version, Hollow Man by Kevin Bacon, this is so much better. Kevin Bacon's version is kind of creepy plus Kevin Bacon is NOT HOT. Well some people will find my taste in HOT guys are pretty weird. I agreed with most that Brad Pitt is hot but somehow I'm not really into him. I liked David Boreanaz (Angel, Bones) back then which I still do. People were crazy about Nick Carter but I don't, I liked Brian Littrell. People fancy Chester Bennington more but I like Mike Shinoda more than any of the band members. And yes, I like this Invisible Man, Vincent Ventresca. He's not like super hot but he's alright. *drool* And then I like Lee Hom. Well Lee Hom are loveable, I mean how can people don't adore his charm and also talent?

Putting the inner part aside, other than the good looking ,nice eyes ,great smile, I guess another thing that can certainly melt me down is the voice. A guy with a pleasant voice will always get additional mark from me. Like David Beckham, although he is good looking (well, I think Owen is better), during the first time I heard him speaking, I was totally stunned. His voice and his look doesn't match at all. *sorry Beckham fans* I like guys with sexy voice >.<

Alright, the more I type the more I don't know where and when I'm gonna end. That's why I'm not a good author, I can't put things in paragraph nicely. I always talk about this and suddenly talk about that. So I guess I'll just put a full stop here for now. *still waiting for files to come in*

Sometimes it's not true when they always say that "Good things come to those who wait". In my work, no. Waiting is absolutely bad. Cheers.

张惠妹 - 如果你也听说

作曲:周杰伦填词:李焯雄

突然发现站了好久
不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我
再多人陪只会更寂寞

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可
委屈却没有人诉说

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

张惠妹-如果你也听说

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我想我宁可都沉默
其实反而显得做作

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

如果你想起我
你会想到什么

Where? What? Why? How? No Who.

I realized that I just don't have the mood to write a complete blog recently. Every time when I wanted to write something, I ended up writing them halfway and eventually, I deleted every words that I've written. I just feel funny recently and I don't know what I want. PMS? Maybe. But that can't be the reason always. I just don't know what. I guess most probably is PMS.

I'm perfectly happy with my working life and everything that God have been giving to me up til now but why do I still feel like something is missing? It just feels like I'm standing between the edge of heaven and earth and it's obvious that I would choose heaven but I just couldn't move. Something is holding me back. But what?

Don't worry, this is just like a temporary feeling. It's definitely PMS. That's why I'm typing it out to relieve the shits within me. When I'm done with this entry, everything will be back to normal.

And lastly, i'm off to bed, Good Night.

So what's next?

Nope. Not getting an iPhone. That's not the next thing that I'm going to do. In fact that might be the last thing that I would want to do. Before this I was making a fuss about the iPhone and desperately wanted to get it. I guess after thinking through so much, the money that I want to save up for iPhone can use for something else better. One for being that I already have an iPod Touch the other is many people tell me that iPhone is not worth it. But I guess it's the first one that makes me really change my mind. What for having another iPod Touch+Phone?

Anyway, I actually feel great about my job is just that I hope I'm getting somewhere. It's not like I'm very ambitious (although I do hope one day I could be like my managers, and that will have to work much more harder). All I really want myself to do in the future is to open a bakery/cafe like Starbucks/ Secret Recipe and most importantly my shop must have one thing can make everyone think about my shop whenever the name of the thing is mentioned like coffee=starbucks, famous cakes=secret recipe. Just have to work hard and have proper planning. Hehe.

Besides work & dreams that I have, what else do I want? I always said that come what may, well I do hope I have love to complete the puzzle of my life. I have family love, friends love, colleagues love, I just don't have bf-gf love. Maybe I wouldn't even have anyway. Argh. I really hate it when my mind come across to this topic. Love. Where is it? Coming or not? *sigh*

Goodnight.

What is that feeling...

Is not like I have something to be upset about. But why do I feel so heartache when I listened to those sorrowful songs T_T I guess most probably is the PMS *I hope*

Damn, it's gonna be another week of work. Really need to figure out to complete the task my senior asked me to. I want to contribute and be useful to the team. *gambateh*

I just don't know what to say. Really. Just feeling sad for no reason. <- I am such a sad person. *sob*

Goodnight all and have a great week ahead!

What happened to Steve?

Omg. He looked so skinny. What happened? Anyway the 3G iPhone is coming in July. Hopefully it will be available in Malaysia. *finger crossed* soooo getting the 16Gb one. I've been wanting iPhone for so so long. So now I'll delay my upgrading HDD plan and stick to save-money-to-buy-iPhone-plan. Hehe.

Anyway, had a great workshop trip with colleagues and managers over the weekend. Although I don't know them long enough, they are just really nice. At least they won't despise fresh grads but to provide every possible help to me. Thanks people! So lucky to be able to work with y'all :)

So much to share but then my eyes are about to close. There's a meeting at 8.30 am tomorrow morning so I shall go off to bed now. I'll share more this coming weekend. Ciaoz.

They've never fail to make my day better :)

That's why I still love them after so long. Mike especially... lucky Anna. Anyway, "Leave Out All The Rest" is one of my fave from Minutes to Midnight and I'm glad they made a video for it. Wanted to paste the video link but unfortunately Warner Music removed it due to copyright claims = =

This really reminds me of those bloopers in Frat Party. Especially the one that Hahn and Mike did on the wet toiletpaper >.<