Sunday, August 17, 2008

Monday again...

Quite disappointed with Lee Chong Wei for losing the match. Oh well, at least he won the silver medal for Malaysia better than Malaysia having nothing at all. Lin Dan played well and Chong Wei's having bad luck and not very good judgment during the game. Pity the guy. The cheers of the China fans were enough to kill. He tried his best, he came this far and he deserved a clap for trying hard.

Man, I really hate Monday. Monday is always the slowest day of the whole week =.= and I think I'm quite used to working from home since I've been working from home this whole week.

Recently I just feel like I lost my words. I can't describe a thing/event/person properly anymore. I just can't seem to find the right words and I just feel suck up. I need to read. I've not been reading for ages. Bought two books today, one is Sophie Kinsella's The Undomestic Goddess and Cecelia Ahern's Where Rainbows End. I want to feel confident again while blogging, writing and talking.

I guess my job kind of make me lose my touch with words. The routine is starting to get boring and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere, not learning much. *sigh* I need to pick up on my english again. Not only English, there are so much more that I can learn. I like to sing, but I know I don't have a special vocal so can't go anywhere with that. I like to draw but I just can't seem to draw out what I imagine other than being a copycat. I like to shoot photo but I just can't seem to get the right moment or right angle to shoot. I just don't know why I'm beginning to feel very depress towards myself. It seems like I couldn't make things right. I don't know where to go and what to do next to "enhance" my life. Post Menstrual Syndrome or Pre Monday Syndrome? I'll find out soon.

Goodnight and have a great week ahead y'all :)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Pucca <3

Hehe, never thought I'll like Pucca. After watching the cartoon I started to become really addicted to Pucca. Pucca rocks :D

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me

First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone who came for the party. Special thanks to the brother aka Kevin Tan for planning, organizing, executing this wonderful BBQ birthday party/A-levels mini union party. Another person I would like to thank is the "little" brother, Mr. Andy Chang for all the game planning *oh god duck nest* and running around to make sure everything's alright and also helping out to move things around. (and you did quite well this time so don't ever say that you're failure in planning again) And I really have to apologize again for my clumsiness and ruining the party. *sob* Anyway, I'm really happy to see everyone again and I never thought that there will be a chance of having a BBQ party again .

For the first time in my life, I felt that home is so damn far away and it's a long long way home. It took me more than 10 minutes to reach home from the poolside =.= and I felt terrible for making both Enn Yong and Jiin to carry me back to my home *knowing that I'm so bloody heavy* Pai sheh leh. I feel extremely bad for making you guys panted and who knows maybe your muscles are aching now because of me T_T I'm sure they will never ever forget about this moment of needing to carry a giant back home T_T Gosh I feel so damn guilty.

I guess it's a wrong choice to jump while wearing slippers, especially bloody heavy slippers. I think I got my mum really scared that she kept nagging me after all my friends left. Well yeah, my bad. Sorry mum. And what a price to pay for wanting to get a good jump shot. *sigh*

Anyway, I had a wonderful day yesterday. From the karaoke session in the morning til the BBQ party, the company, the food, the surprises, the game, the present, the cake and everything else were superb. I really appreciate reunion like that. It's quite a waste that some friends couldn't make it but the party and everything was really amazing. *bow to all* Thank you guys. I'm so glad to have all you amazing people in my life. *group hugs* I know some of you are leaving for UK soon, we definitely should meet up again before you guys leave.

One of the greatest surprise that I got was Mia's appearance. I can't believe she appears. I was suspecting that she's the special guest but thanks to dear sister Cheng Yee with your excellent skill in covering up that "secret" but yeah, having my closest friends back is one of the wonderful thing to have. There's so much to say and we can't finish it on one day itself. Lol. I wish i have pictures to show but unfortunately i didn't bring my camera up so people, please give me the pics soon :D

Anyway, for one more time, I would like to show my appreciation with Mariah's song "Thank God I found you" to each and everyone of you who had shared the happy moments, gone through hell with me. Sorry if I ever said anything that upset you or make you feel uneasy, I seriously don't mean it and thank you for always being there for me.



(Mariah)
I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I've finally found unvarnished truth
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heart it would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life

(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you
I was lost lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful i found you.


(98 Degrees)
I would give you everything
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do
To ensure your happiness
I'll cherish every part of you
Because without you beside me I can't survive
Don't wanna try
If you're keeping me warm each and every night
I'll be all right
Cause I need you in my life

(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you (I'm thanking you)
I was lost lost without you (so lost without you)
My every wish and every dream (every dream, every dream)
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight (brought the sunlight)
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you.

-Bridge- (Mariah & 98 Degrees)
See I was so desolate
Before you came to me
Looking back I guess it shows
That we were destined to shine
After the rain to appreciate
The gift of what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel this way

(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you
I was lost lost without you (lost without you baby)
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life (whole life)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Sweet baby I'm so thankful
I found you


(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you
I'm lost lost without you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful
I found you

(Mariah)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful I found you

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The myth of another world.

When people asked me about my religion, I tend to tell them I'm free thinker. Basically this is because I believe things that are logical and acceptable. As much as I hate waiting for works to come, I might as well spend time surfing around for something interesting. I think none of us didn't wonder about what happened to dead people. Do they go to another world? Can they really see us? Oh well, read this article about this author named Concetta Bertoldi who claimed to be a "medium" who can communicates with the dead answering the FAQ by others about dead.

What is the difference between a medium and a psychic?
A medium is a psychic, but a psychic is not necessarily a medium. Someone who is just psychic can give you a prediction, but they can’t tell you where or who they got it from. I (and other true mediums) not only can tell you what is going on and what will happen, but we can tell you who on the Other Side is bringing the message. I’m the whole package, baby!

When did you first start talking with dead people?
I couldn’t say exactly, but certainly from the time I was a small girl. It wasn’t really having a conversation, I just knew something. I understood so little at that time, I had no one to explain to me what this ‘knowing’ was. One of my very earliest memories of this was walking home one day when I was about nine years old (this wasn’t the first, but one that I strongly recall) and ‘realizing’ that my older brother was going to be taken from us at an early age. As I was walking into my backyard, I ‘heard’ the Other Side (I didn’t know at the time that’s who was communicating with me) tell me this. I can’t recall the exact words I heard. I’m not even sure it was a full sentence. Nevertheless, I knew what they meant, and I remember it like it was yesterday.

Other messages like this one came to me at other times. I was told, for example, that I would never in this lifetime have children of my own. I was also told that in a past lifetime my soul had been married to my father’s soul — one of the reasons, I’m sure, why I completely adored my father in this lifetime. The effect of these messages, for me, was one of grounding me. Even if I didn’t like what I’d been told, even if, like anyone would, I fought against losing my brother and against whatever it was that decided I would not have children, the fact that I’d been told these things in advance eventually helped me gain perspective.

What happens to us when we die?
People have fears. They’ve heard about going into the Light and want to know, does it hurt walking into the Light? Do we lose our memories? Is everything there that we had before?

What I’ve heard from the souls on the Other Side is that when we die we leave either through our feet or the top of the head. On this side I’ve heard of the “silver cord” that supposedly attaches us to life here, but no one from over there has ever mentioned this to me. It’s hard to describe exactly how we are moving — it’s a bit like floating, a bit like walking, a bit like flying, it’s a ‘gravitating’ toward the Light. There’s a feeling of anticipation — maybe a little fear, but more anticipation.

Nothing at all is forgotten. In fact, whereas now we can only remember some highlights of our past, over there we remember every single moment and detail. Everything we knew, loved, or experienced.

When we die, within seconds of entering the Light we experience a knowing. We get a fast-forward review of our lives and see the whole domino effect of all of our actions. We feel everything we made someone else feel — the joy, the hurt. We see and understand the whole domino effect of all our actions and of every interaction we had with anyone. And we know and understand what our purpose was in this lifetime.

There’s a period of transition, a time we get to reflect on our life — I don’t feel that this is standardized in any way; it’s different from individual to individual. For many there may be a necessary period of healing any physical or emotional issues, especially forgiving ourselves for anything we did while living that we don’t feel proud of, that may have hurt someone, before we are able to interact with this side, the living, again. At all times we are given help in healing what we “shoulda woulda coulda” done in our lives here.” Sometimes there is sadness at what we wish we could have done differently. We’re encouraged to heal any anger or guilt. But there is also what we would think of as physical healing — even though it’s not really physical, it’s spiritual. I can’t tell you how often someone who has been sick when they died, maybe even have been missing parts of their body, have told me in spirit that they are completely healed and healthy, and completely whole. Someone who may have had great difficulty walking or even standing on this side at the end of their life will tell me that over there they are dancing.

The true beauty of the Light is that it is total harmony. Here, we can spend a lifetime in the dark. We don’t know what we are doing or the effect we are having. But when we get over there, we get a clear view of what this side is all about.

To read the complete article, feel free to click HERE

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

"I'm nobody, Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect"

Seriously, I just don't like this feeling. The feeling of being bored and can't really do the things that I wanted to do e.g. Watch series. I'm in office alright but yesterday and today seems to be a little "free". I'm waiting for files to come, request to come. And as always, they'll only come around about 4-5pm when it's almost time to go HOME. Well I'm not complaining. I just wish to have balance in work. It's kind of scary when you know a tidal wave is coming but you can't do anything about it but to WAIT.

Like last week, out of sudden I need to look at 50000 records within 2 days and sort them out plus 2 files with around 7000+ records each within 2-3 days. And I was pretty glad that I was able to do it. Although sorting sounds easy, the hardest part is the checking. I enjoy my work but I started to want something more. Something more than what I'm doing. I'm not asking for more workload but I want to do different things. When I said I'm not complaining here, I think in most way I'm sort of complaining :P

This morning when I was talking to the Data Marshall in NZ, I feel like I need to overcome the nervousness and have a little more faith in myself. One of my shortcomings is that I always doubt my competence. There's always the case where I know I'm right but I just don't dare to be so damn sure that I'm right. Mostly happens during work and studies. It's not like I'm worried that I'll be blamed for being wrong, the part that concerned me the most is the part where I get people in trouble for my own silly mistakes. There are a lot more for me to learn before I find myself talking real well. Really have to pick up my vocab cuz I find my "dictionary" having very limited vocabularies.

Anyway, recently I'm kind of addicted to watching back the old series that I used to watch last time. I'm really glad that I was able to buy the series Invisible Man. Although this series is not as famous as Grey's Anatomy, FRIENDS, and all, I kind of love it. First saw it on TV3 a few years back then. As compared to the movie version, Hollow Man by Kevin Bacon, this is so much better. Kevin Bacon's version is kind of creepy plus Kevin Bacon is NOT HOT. Well some people will find my taste in HOT guys are pretty weird. I agreed with most that Brad Pitt is hot but somehow I'm not really into him. I liked David Boreanaz (Angel, Bones) back then which I still do. People were crazy about Nick Carter but I don't, I liked Brian Littrell. People fancy Chester Bennington more but I like Mike Shinoda more than any of the band members. And yes, I like this Invisible Man, Vincent Ventresca. He's not like super hot but he's alright. *drool* And then I like Lee Hom. Well Lee Hom are loveable, I mean how can people don't adore his charm and also talent?

Putting the inner part aside, other than the good looking ,nice eyes ,great smile, I guess another thing that can certainly melt me down is the voice. A guy with a pleasant voice will always get additional mark from me. Like David Beckham, although he is good looking (well, I think Owen is better), during the first time I heard him speaking, I was totally stunned. His voice and his look doesn't match at all. *sorry Beckham fans* I like guys with sexy voice >.<

Alright, the more I type the more I don't know where and when I'm gonna end. That's why I'm not a good author, I can't put things in paragraph nicely. I always talk about this and suddenly talk about that. So I guess I'll just put a full stop here for now. *still waiting for files to come in*

Sometimes it's not true when they always say that "Good things come to those who wait". In my work, no. Waiting is absolutely bad. Cheers.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

张惠妹 - 如果你也听说



作曲:周杰伦填词:李焯雄

突然发现站了好久
不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我
再多人陪只会更寂寞

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可
委屈却没有人诉说

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

张惠妹-如果你也听说

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我想我宁可都沉默
其实反而显得做作

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

如果你想起我
你会想到什么

Where? What? Why? How? No Who.

I realized that I just don't have the mood to write a complete blog recently. Every time when I wanted to write something, I ended up writing them halfway and eventually, I deleted every words that I've written. I just feel funny recently and I don't know what I want. PMS? Maybe. But that can't be the reason always. I just don't know what. I guess most probably is PMS.

I'm perfectly happy with my working life and everything that God have been giving to me up til now but why do I still feel like something is missing? It just feels like I'm standing between the edge of heaven and earth and it's obvious that I would choose heaven but I just couldn't move. Something is holding me back. But what?

Don't worry, this is just like a temporary feeling. It's definitely PMS. That's why I'm typing it out to relieve the shits within me. When I'm done with this entry, everything will be back to normal.

And lastly, i'm off to bed, Good Night.